Every time I go through a canal tunnel that has ventilation shafts, I make an effort to count the number of shafts. And every time, before I'm halfway through, I'm uncertain as to how many shafts I've passed.
Do you have the same experience? You look up as you pass underneath a shaft, you see the blue-white brilliance, the shaft rains down on your grimacing eyes and open mouth, you realise you are briefly blinded ... and you've forgotten how many shafts you've passed. You've lost count. Was it five or six or seven?
(Incidentally, once while walking over 'tunnel top' at Blisworth Tunnel, I also lost count of the overground tunnel shafts. But I got some nice pictures in the autumn sunset.)
Last Easter I found a variation on this subterranean game.
Regular boaters approaching Salford Junction ('Spaghetti Junction') on the Birmingham & Fazeley Canal will know of the long warehouse near Erdington covering the canal for 100-150 yards.
It has the look of something built in the 1960s, but I never found what it was originally built for. However, nowadays it's the home of Space Self-Storage. They promise:
.... a large secure facility with CCTV and central station linked alarms.
I'm not sure if the same security extends to the canal underneath, but I'd hope that yobs would think twice before lurking there for villainous intent.
To business:
As you motor underneath Space Self-Storage, you'll pass a large number of concrete columns. But how many columns?
I first came this way eleven years ago, and have never managed to count the columns.
Until this month. This time, I jumped off the boat, got Christine to hold it in with the breast rope, and then ran back with a stick, banging it against every pillar. Then I turned around and ran back and banged and counted 'em again.
There are 54.
I think there are, anyway. But I'm still not sure! If you've got nothing better to do, could you ring Space on 0121 327 7778 and ask the guy on the phone if he'd mind nipping downstairs during his lunch hour and counting 'em again, just to reassure me?
The Erdington Job
I can imagine a great movie coming out of this location, a sort of The Italian Job-style heist. There'd be a fantastically valuable item stored in the Space Self-Storage warehouse, and a team on a narrowboat would pose as BW staff.
They'd position a spud-leg dredger underneath on some pretext (perhaps a BCN Canal Cleanup), and drill through the overhead concrete overnight, steal the prize and transfer it to a passing narrowboat in the morning.
By mid-afternoon they could be well up the Farmer's Bridge flight of locks before the theft had been discovered, and the following day headed down the Tardebigge flight or on the Stratford Canal or even approaching Stourbridge - who knows where.
To extend the The Italian Job analogy, you'd have three narrowboats, each of 'em heading in different directions. And all of 'em steered by chinless-wonder public schoolboys, just like in the film.
A side plot would involve counting the 54 (53? 55?) concrete pillars, but I haven't worked out that bit yet. Perhaps it could be a sort of distraction, to make the police think the column-counters were hiding something, when in fact they'd be innocent, nerdy dupes. Or perhaps they could drill holes in the columns to hide the diamonds until the hue and cry dies down.
The only problem would be remembering which pillars they put the loot in. No matter how they counted, they'd never remember.
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