Granny Buttons

Cuckoo Wharf to Aston Science Park

A short day today, from Cuckoo Wharf to Aston Junction, and round the corner to the Science Park.  I abandoned my attempt to get around the Wyrley & Essington because of the fear of getting iced-in and missing NY Eve in Birmingham.  Just my luck that this morning the ice was melting, the rain was pouring, the wind was blowing and the air was warming.  No hurry now.   I moored up by the Aston Science Park, on the outskirts of the University.  It's a good, safe 48hr mooring with a patrolling security guard at night.  Recommended.

And - unlike Cuckoo Wharf - the Park acknowledges and even embraces its canal location.  Why, there's even a new winding hole at Priestley Wharf.

Dog & Doublet to Cuckoo Wharf

Today Granny was an ice breaker, from the Dog & Doublet pub to Cuckoo Wharf.  And I'll rue it, I know I will.  A small amount of ice breaking won't damage your hull, but it can stress the engine, and it'll certainly strip off the blacking on the waterline at the bow.

There was a severe frost overnight, and this morning the ice lay a quarter-inch thick or more on the Birmingham and Fazeley canal at Curdworth.  I set off around 9:30, but it was slow going for the first two or three locks - icebreaking continously - until Aidan joined.  He helped me down the Farmers Bridge and Aston flights last month, and his arrival today was like the cavalry - a great relief. 

We crunched virgin ice for almost all the distance, and only met another boat on the move when close to Spaghetti Junction (and only three or four others over the whole distance).  I wish that boat had set off sooner, taken a greater share of the crunching, and saved the wear on my own boat's hull.  We reached Cuckoo Wharf around 4pm, and celebrated with a couple of Ansells pints (or was it Robinsons?) in the Reservoir pub around the corner from Cuckoo Wharf.  Once again, thanks Aidan. He pedalled off home, and I settled down to an early night in. 

But what to do?  Cuckoo Wharf is a safe and hospitable place to moor for the night (there's all-night security, for one) but there's no wifi link. Which is ironic, considering the offices there house two advanced businesses. 

One of those Cuckoo Wharf businesses is Tamba Internet, a web design agency with an impressive client roster and track record (and a young, blonde, pretty founder - I couldn't help noticing! - see picture of her right, stolen from their website). 

The other is 3G Communications, which specialises in mobile comms for businesses.  I enquired of each of them, but got short shrift from both and neither had time for me.  They occupy a prime canalside site, but both companies appear uninterested in the canal beside them.  What a shame. 

This is a continuing problem with the new breed of canalside businesses.  Once Birmingham's waterways throbbed with interaction between boats and industry; nowadays most of these businesses don't seem to care for the canals, except as backdrops to their office windows. 

I wonder if I can persuade Tamba to open up their wifi network for boaters mooring overnight? I wonder if I can adopt them as my favoured canalside internet business?  (The position's currently vacant)

At 6pm I thought, "To hell with the early night in; Star City is just around the corner.  So tonight I went to see King Kong.  It was an intelligent movie, I'll say that for it.  It was a spectacle-and-a-half, I'll add that too.  But at a bladder-busting three hours I think Peter Jackson could have cut the half-spectacle (particularly the non-stop fantasy bestiary on the island) and I might then have yawned less.  I'm not the only one to think so.

Streethay to Dog & Doublet

Streethay to the Dog & Doublet pub at Curdworth.

Quick catch-up on my cruising.  I settled my £1348 bill at Streethay with my Egg credit card (and managed £55 of diesel and a £12 pumpout and other extras on top) and I hope the Egg statement comes long before the financial chickens come home to roost.  Streethay was closed when I wanted to depart on Tuesday, so I had to wait until Wednesday, cruising to the Dog & Doublet pub in about five hours.

I managed one of those public humiliations, where I let the boat drift out as I closed the lock gate and missed getting aboard.  Granny Buttons slowly drifted midstream, and luckily my insouciant, careless air made it look deliberate.  I think the bystanders were convinced, not least because the boat kept moving and eventually touched the canalside moorings fifty yards upstream after scarcely ten minutes or so.

The Dog & Doublet is a good place to break a journey, but I'm not sure it's got the right landlord.  The current one is a severe Yorkshireman, close to retirement, who has interesting stories to tell about his apprentice days as a steam engine fireman during the last gasp of steam on British Railways, back in the 1960s.  "Eee, put me on the footplate and I could do it all again, I've forgotten nowt", he said wistfully to me.  Mallard, Flying Scotsman, this-or-that engine, he says he remembers them all. But he's not got much awareness or excitement about the canals as far as I could tell.

Actually, I'm not sure it has the right landlords either.  D&D is part of the Punch Taverns estate, and there's nothing on their website which suggests they have an understanding of what it takes to make a really successful canalside pub either.  The biggest part of their site is at the top - the share price.  Sigh.

The most memorable sight of the day - the curious, decrepit tupperware 'motor & butty' pair which I passed at Whittington. I wish my camera could have captured the face of the steerer. 

Berkhamsted Wharf

Lindy Foster Weinreb's campaign to stop the last canal wharf at Berkhamsted becoming residential housing has gained the support of Berkhamsted MP David Gauke, as he explains on his website.

Tesco's in Stalybridge in trolley problem

Yobs off their trollies at Tesco in Stalybridge - Tameside Advertiser

Members of the Wooden Canal Boat Society say they can no longer sail past Tesco in Stalybridge because of the number of supermarket trollies dumped in the Huddersfield canal. Barge owners Chris Leah and Karen Buck recently had to haul 27 trollies from the water themselves.

"It’s a problem up and down the canal, people dumping, but we always have particularly bad problems near Tesco. We pull as many out as we can, but we can still feel them underneath when we’re sailing over," said Chris.

Perhaps what's needed is a Wooden Supermarket Trolley Society.  There's an interesting history of the supermarket trolley (or 'cart', as it's called in the USA) here on Wikipedia.  Bet you didn't know there was such a thing as a 'history' of the trolley, eh?   But for the WCBS, what's most needed is not a history of the trolley, but a look into the future of supermarket trollies.  Make them float, make them breakable, make them biodegradable, make them Supercart. 

Incidentally, for all that I keep promoting the Supercart, the company behind them continue to ignore my emails asking for a sample to test in the canal, like a crash test dummy so to speak.  I don't know why, when I'm giving them all this free publicity.  Perhaps the Supercart really is as bad as a conventional wire trolley when it meets a canal boat propellor?

Granny's behind

Omigosh I'm a bit behind with my blog, my email, and particularly with the review of the year I'd promised myself for Granny Buttons.  Christmas is no excuse. 

I'm writing this from the Oxford Welcome Break service area on the M40, halfway back to Granny from visiting my father in Sussex, where there's no web access to speak of.  It's 22 days since I last saw my home afloat, and it's the longest period I've ever spent away from her.  She's in good hands at Streethay Wharf, but there's no internet access there either.  Tomorrow I set off to spend the rest of the week on the BCN.  There's no cruising log to report, so I'll try to get back into the blogging habit  a few little 'Cut Life' news snippets.

Granny's sesqui-month's stay at Streethay Wharf

'Shady Lady' Wendy, Mark and others have spotted that Granny hasn't been cruising far recently.  We (Granny and I) arrived back at Streethay Wharf on November 12th for my sesquiannual bottom-blacking.  Then followed a week of servicing, followed by lots of other work, including an overhaul of my Kabola diesel heater.  Thank heavens I have an empty credit card; phew!

Granny's now fit to leave for another year and a half of wandering.  But I wasn't fit to rejoin her last weekend, and looks like I won't be able to until next Tuesday. 

My boat is safe at Streethay Wharf - there aren't any safer places on the canals  and I'm always happy with the work they do - but this represents the longest period I've not cruised my boat, and indeed the longest time I've been away from her in almost seven years. 

I'm really looking forward to Christmas week on her, exploring the Birmingham Canal Navigations, and spending New Year's Eve in Gas Street Basin.  Christine joined me in NY Eve 2003 and brought me a Klutter Inflatable Wife ('tomorrow's trash today', said the packet) as a gift.  Unfortunately the Inflatable Wife let me down almost immediately, and I had to let her down yesterday when I finally dumped her - literally, at the council rubbish dump.

I can't wait to see what I'll get this year.  Hopefully an everlasting inflatable credit card.

Google Earth and the Lichfield Canal Aqueduct

Have you tried Google Earth?  It's an impressive earth mapping site that combines streetmapping with aerial photography and satellite imagery.   Here's a photo of the M6 Toll Road showing the freshly installed Lichfield Canal Aqueduct last year.

I know, I know, you can do a lot more. I've created a 'pin' for it on the Google Earth Community too, but I'm not sure if I've registered it right. Anyone else placed waterways placemarkers?

Driver Smithett loves his Navigator.

Waterways photographer Robin Smithett snapped to attention this weekend when I mentioned his speciality, hotel boats, and his excellent book on the subject.  However, he's more interested in my comments on Philips' Navigator - he says it's definitely his favourite road atlas.  'Masterpiece of map-making' isn't too florid, he thinks:

This road atlas has always been the only one angled towards waterways users: From its inception it has shown all waterways and also each lock (or flight of locks). The scale of one and a half miles to the inch means that you can pick out the waterways easily, showing each bend and turn. It's very up to date on its waterway coverage as well, showing all the restored lengths of non-navigable waterways.

It also has the capacity to show all minor roads in their entirety - unlike most road atlases, where lanes just peter out on the map so you have to guess where they go. Also, it shows the OS grid, so you can work out where to send an emergency vehicle if you need one, or just to tell someone with GPS in their car an exact rendezvous point.

Now, this masterpiece of map-making as gone one stage further and includes canal bridge numbers, making it even easier to work out where you are as you travel along the canal, and which road leads to the nearest village, or to direct other people to you. ... It's my bible as I travel all around the system - my copy even has all the canals marked in highlighter pen!

Hmm, sounds like he gets more commission on it than on his own book!  But the truth is, it's me who gets a tiny commission if you buy Philips' Navigator after clicking on the link to Amazon on this page.  About 20-40p, I think, and the price is about as cheap as they come.  Look on it as a tip jar or Christmas gift for Granny. 

And why not?  I, too, have raved about Navigator in the past - although I've had my criticisms too.

Hotel boats August-Oct

My 'adopted' American, Ed, who is thinking of a hotel narrowboat holiday, has a time between 10th August and 31st October in mind.  Ed says:

"We are also looking for a vessel with single cabins as we both enjoy a bit of privacy.  Other than that, we are very flexible [but] I am naturally more drawn to rural areas with small towns and villages."

'Cressy', who's got lots of hotel boat experience under her/his belt,has commented today, and made several interesting points. Not least that if 'en-suite facilities' are important to you, check first that the boat's got 'em.  My instinctive reaction: sharing is fun, because the fewer bathrooms, the more guests you can fit in a narrowboat's confined 6'6" cabin - and the more likely you are to have a fellow guest who shares your own interests. 

Snipe & Taurus - an update

Robin Smithett (the author of Precious Cargo, the history of hotel narrowboats) has stopped by to point out an error in my post on Sunday. 

Snipe & Taurus were successfully sold earlier this year, he says, and are now operating under the badge of Kingfisher Hotel Narrowboat Holidays, run by Jeremy & Anne Davies.   I've updated my list of hotel boats.  Thanks, Robin.

Tolerating guests on a hotelboat holiday

What kind of guest are you on a shared travelling holiday?  How do you get on with strangers when cheek-by-jowl with them?  Have you ever shared a truck across the Hindu Kush or a 4x4 on safari in East Africa? 

I'll admit I'm not that easy to live with for long periods. After three weeks in a cross-country convoy in Yemen a few years back the other passengers were close to drawing straws as to who was going to drown me.  Luckily for me there were no canals in Yemen to drown in. 

Two English canal hotelboat operations seem to me to represent extremes of tolerance.  One is Gayboats.  As you might imagine, almost anything goes, on a Gayboats holiday. Their tolerance will almost certainly exceed yours. (They also run a less-up-front operation - same boats, staider ethos - called Goodboats). They'll happily put up with your dog too, if you promise to feed it yourself and clear up after it. 

The other side of tolerance is shown by 'Friendships' [sic], which is a non-smoking vegetarian vegan, animal-rightist, children-must-only-be-called-young-people, environmentally-friendly narrowboat with ... you get the picture.  They don't mention any anti-war or other activist credentials, but we can probably take it as given that Indymedia is the home page of their computer, that 'bush' is a dirty word and that you aren't allowed aboard if you've got a pig's valve in your heart.

On Granny Buttons I'm much taken to calling out a friendly "mmm....that smells wonderful!" to people grilling burgers on towpath barbecues.  That would be enough to get me thrown out of a Friendships[sic] holiday, let alone my leather shoes or their discovery of the cold bacon sandwich I would slip into my emergency rations because of night starvation from the vegetable-only diets.  Still, if you are the sort of person that the majority of hotelboat guests would chuck in the water on the second day, you are probably amongst friends on a Friendships [sic] holiday.

There's one boat that's easy for party-poopers to party on: Willow is only available for full charter. ie. you have to book the whole boat for one party, and then they'll bargain away the route to suit you.  And I guess you can then dictate your preferences of intolerances, cuisine and dinner table discussion. 

Willow is likely the one my friends would send me on.  Probably on my own, while they take a Gayboats or Friendships [sic] holiday.

Lyra's nice touches

I've not been mentioning it much recently (how remiss of me) but there have been some wonderful touches coming out of of Lyra, the new narrowboat tug built for a guy called Dave. In my defence, I've written about it in the past. 

He's blogging it here.  I particularly like the way he's had the BW no. of the boat painted on the front, as per the picture in his post yesterday (left).  On an earlier post (last Guy Fawkes Day), he also points out:

"I have traditional style cast iron vents on the outside of the doors and inside the lower edge of the bottom "block" is open to allow air to enter the cabin through the doors. This avoids the need to have a grill on the inside of the doors."

This is an excellent idea.

But there's another tack about rear ventilation (stop the sniggering at the back) you might consider: One of the things boat safety inspectors have tried to catch Granny out in the past is the lack of rear ventilation.  In fact, if you examine the rear of my own boat you'll see a stern chimney.  In a traditional working narrowboat a stern chimney would be smoking furiously, providing heat to the boatman's cabin. 

But in Granny Buttons it's actually a dummy ventilation duct, and - get this - there's no boatman's cabin stove.  I like to think it echoes the Titanic, whose fourth funnel was simply to provide rear ventilation. (I said, stop sniggering at the back!)

Hotel narrowboat books

The post about hotel boats yesterday gives me the excuse to mention two great books about hotel boats on the English cut. 

Precious Cargo, by Robin Smithett, is a factual history of canal hotelboats in the fifty years after the Second World War.  It's an interesting and easily readable book, in a heavily illustrated coffee-table format, ideal for the lounge bookshelf on a hotel boat holiday. 

It details the problems the early floating hoteliers had in starting and maintaining this sort of business.  It's particularly interesting in describing the setbacks and difficulties the operators had with the parlous state of the canals, before canal restoration finally accelerated in the 1970s.  By the time you finish it you'll wonder why your holiday was so cheap and you'll be determined to tip handsomely, even if they refuse it!

Life Skills by Katie Fforde is frothy modern-day chick-lit about a thirty-something girl who chucks in her estate-agent job to work on a hotel-boat pair (very much like Dawn & Dusk or Oak & Ash) with a rather more flighty rich girl.  Along the way they face a monstrous regiment of arrogant men who think the girls aren't up to it.  It's fun rather than funny, but I (male, menopausal, middle-aged) enjoyed it a lot.

Yet I found it, too, a fascinating (if fictional) insight into the real job of operating such a business; not least the constant, frenzied work and the teetering on disaster as you wonder where your next set of temporary staff are coming from. 

There are two interesting conversations along these very lines from a real hotelboat operator on uk.rec.waterways, last January and later in March.

If you are planning a hotel boat holiday Life Skills is a great read, either as briefing literature beforehand, or something to fall asleep to each night in your bunk.  It's undemanding and quite a page-turner.  It currently has four customer reviews on Amazon, two negative, two positive.  The less-amused are both Brits, while the two Americans really loved it.  Make of that what you can.  If you read the book and want to comment, go on, give Granny a mention in your review!

Christine thought it too soppy. But Christine likes her characters sterner.  "Stupid cow", she said of the heroine/narratrix, and would have had her push the irritating boyfriend into the canal on the very first page instead of three-quarters of the way to the end.

It must say something of me that I spend twice as much time talking about a lightweight holiday paperback than the more authoritative scholarly work!