Granny Buttons

Last weekend at Streethay Wharf

I spent the weekend aboard Granny Buttons at Streethay Wharf. Going nowhere, because the work on the engine isn't finished, but tidying up before I begin the big trip to London for Christmas.

Granny is moored up, stern-on in the covered engine bay, allowing the Streethay engineers to work on the engine. And what work has been needed! Ian showed me the broken 'bell housing' and the shattered drive plate; Ed showed me the worn engine mounts and the not-to-BSS-standard fuel hoses I've used all this time (fit for the job, but not official); and they both pointed out the myriad little jobs that needed doing - the stripped-thread nuts and loose manifolds, the new spill rail, the new water cooling hoses replacing the tired old ones, etc.

In my travels I've had a professional engineer look over the engine every autumn, but this doesn't appear to have been enough.

I spent Sunday morning wandering around Streethay Wharf, taking photos. I've rarely seen it looking so photogenic - helped by a late-autumn cloudless blue sky.

Streethay is a place I feel looks after me well - although I'm always tentative about receiving the bill. As with so many small businesses, they are loth to discuss the likely amount to expect in the final bil, and one only learns about it when it plops through the letterbox a week after I leave.

I feel relaxed with Ray, but perhaps that's because he's not bashful about speaking his mind. "Now look, you're a sad git, Andrew, but we put up with you because we think you'll learn!" was his parting shot to me on Sunday. I didn't know whether to feel flattered or humiliated. On balance, I decided to learn quietly from his wisdom and not tempt him to charge me for the private tuition!

Granny Buttons being repaired, and the thought of the bill

Streethay Wharf has done a LOT of work to Granny's engine and transmission in the last three weeks, and I'm not looking forward to the bill. But I guess it must be done. After the iron lady was hauled out of the water to have her rudder fixed, Ray Bowern pointed out that the drive plate (whatever that is) was worn.

Then they discovered that the engine bearings were worn, so two needed to be replaced.

Next Ray pointed out that the manifold was loose (probably because the engine was shaking due to worn engine mounts).

And he asked me "what you bin doing to you boat, Andrew, the propellor shaft's right out of alignment!", and once again I felt like a naughty boy caught damaging daddy's car.

And the stern gland thingy had a broken bolt.

And to cap it all, the bell housing was cracked. I didn't know what the bell housing was before, but I do know. Ordering a new bell housing took an extra week, so I'm running right up against the buffers in my need to get away before the lock stoppages begin on November 8th.

And finally today, Ian Burnage rang to tell me that some of the engine fuel line wasn't to the right spec and recommended it be replaced as a boat safety issue. Of course, I said go ahead.

The work will be done, and done well; the boat is in good hands. But the thought of the sizeable bill is worrying me a lot. So here's a photography of Granny Buttons moored at Fotheringhay, on the River Nene, a couple of years back. Whenever I need to cheer myself up, I think of Granny Buttons moored at a beauty spot on England's waterways. Hmm, that gives me an idea for another photo album...

Nelson falls foul of the modern era

Someone just posted on uk.rec.waterways an hilarious post about Lord Nelson in the modern age. I was about to congratulate the man who posted it, and then I realised he'd not written it, but simply passed it on from another newsgroup or email. It was, in short, a viral email.

It's only fair to find and congratulate the original writer of this piece. Would that it were so easy to find him. A search for the unusual phrases in the piece soon narrows down a shortlist on Google. But is one of those really the onlie begetter?

The Daily Telegraph on Sept 30th ran a story about 'Nelson' having to wear an orange lifejacket, so it's a fair bet that a humorous columnist ran up the story a day or two later for a newspaper or magazine. Still, it *is* a great piece!

Perhaps it's morphic resonance, but a lot of other newspapers were plundering the joke - for instance, the Cape Argus, in South Africa, last week.

Here's the earliest piece as indexed on search engines, as best as I can tell, but I know not who authored it:

Now we know what this strange boat is

No sooner had I put up my 'odd-looking boats' photo album, than George Boyle of NB Alton (purveyor of coal and diesel to the nobility and gentry of the Upper Peak Forest Canal) saw the boat I'd labelled as "Heaven knows where this one is!" and wrote this:

Just to let you know, the odd boat called "Heavens knows where this one is" is actually at Macclesfield Marina. The boat is called "Shioban" and is an air portable air sea rescue boat. They were apparently carried by Catalina flying boats in WWII and dropped to pilots in small inflatable dingies to give them a better survival chance. The strange shape is caused by having to pull in the sides to give a less than 7ft beam when cabinned up.

Photo albums from Granny's cruises

In the near-six years I've had Granny Buttons, I've accumulated several hundred rolls of film and it's time I started showing them. Rather than frogmarching you in geographical order around the waterways, I'm assembling them them by subject.

The first two are Children on the waterways and Odd-looking boats.

Wealthy benefactors buy him a narrowboat

Here's a story I just stumbled across in the Guardian and found charming, even though it's over three years old (May 2001).

A homeless interant artist 'spent five years sleeping rough on a bench by the Kennet and Avon canal in Bath and sold his sketches to passers-by'. One of his sketches, signed "Simon, Homeless, Bath", so captured the interest of a wealthy American couple that they they tracked him down. "They asked me where I would like to live and I said a narrowboat because I have been on them before," said Simon.

So they bought him a £30,000 narrowboat.

He has named the narrowboat Jolly Wassail and plans to refurbish it using wood donated by friends.

I hunted around, and also found the story in more detail in the Daily Telegraph (registration needed), including the news that Simon is now painting waterways and commissions of narrowboats. Or, at least, was three years ago. And that the picture was of "a cider mug and a pint of beer". I'll keep an eye out for Jolly Wassail (built in 1908, says the story) when I hopefully reach the Bath area in January.

Now, where's my own sketchbook and that list of American art benefactors?

Capable - In Memoriam

Checking and updating my list of canal boat websites, I revisited Capable, and saw that it's finally been sold. I forgot to say thanks to the owner, Jonathan Wilkins, when I passed him near Anderton on August 14th (see picture). I'm not one for a cruising log; I'll never get in the habit. So my short entry for that day doesn't mention how he waved and shouted and said hello - and how he said he'd read my comments on passing through Standedge Tunnel - and how it had encouraged him to try the passage. I think this is the first public 'hello' I've had from a reader, and albeit I forgot to mention it, I was nevertheless delighted to have the recognition and the friendly greeting.

There's a poignant end to Jonathan's connection with the waterways:

As our family has grown up and moved on, we do not use her [Capable] as we did and the justification for the expense of repairs and maintenance is diminishing. The waterways are changing too, busier and more commercial (and that does not mean transport-orientated) with more focus on property management than canal maintenance in its traditional form.

The site for Capable is now fixed, and 'in memoriam' of 20 years of happy cruising I'll pull it off my boat list and give the boat its own post here. The (now former) owner Jonathan Wilkins has listed every cruise of every year since he bought the boat, which includes 7,515 miles and 5,414 locks.

20 years, eh? I've heard tell that the average love affair between man and woman is about eighteen months. (That's my experience too!) The romance between man and canal is usually longer, but again, it seems not to be forever. I've had twelve years out of the waterways so far. If I start counting today will I'll get a seven-year itch?

All O-Kay in Springwood Haven.

I've mentioned before that one of the leading boat brokers praised the boats of Valley Cruises as being some of the best quality hire boats he'd seen, and certainly a good brand of boat to buy second-hand.

Sorting through my negatives and scans the other days, I came across this vehicle licence plate, and remembered that I took the photo last Easter at Springwood Haven, near Nuneaton, on the Coventry Canal. I made enquiries, and learned that it belongs to Adrian Wagstaff, owner (and presumably second in command) at Valley Cruises/Springwood Haven.

I think it's the coolest number plate I've ever seen in the Kingdom. I'm not sure of his marital status, but it surely can't be 'divorced'.

Cratch boards and covers

Nicky and partner live on a narrowboat near St Neots on the Gt Ouse.  The local lock is shortly to close until April, and they want a new cratch cover and cratchboard pretty soon.   S/he wrote asking if I made cratchboards 'as well as covers'.   I guess that means Granny Buttons must rank pretty highly in a search for 'cratch covers', but that's probably more a reflection on the cratch business being a cottage industry (or more likely, nowadays a FLOATING COTTAGE industry)  rather than any skill on my part. 

I recommended Camberwell Covers, who are now on the Bridgewater Canal, but that was before I knew Nicky & partner were at least two weeks' FLY cruise from them.  Too late now.    A week closer to home are AJ Covers A.J. Canopies of Braunston, whom Camberwell themselves have a high regard for.  Nicky wants a cratchboard as well as a cover, which might limit the choice.    The Canal Shop list four suppliers, but do any of them do cratchboards as well?   On balance, I'd say choose the supplier and ask him to drive over and measure up.  Camberwell will do that, although I don't know their charge for driving a hundred miles.

My own cratchboard was built by Streethay Wharf to replace a broken one and to fit my pre-existing Wilson cover, and done in traditional tongue & groove style.  It looks the biz, and it was my choice, but sometimes I wish I'd got another glazed  one to give me more light in the well deck.   Nobody's fault but mine. 

Wilson officially has a web site, but it appears to be offline at time of writing. 

Quay Cat has a blog

Found another American boating blog - chronicling the experiences of Scott Karren on his boat Quay Cat. This one's even further away - Kingston in Washington State, USA. Quay Cat is a tupperware 'Motor Cat 30' catamaran-style boat, and the blog seems semi-commercial, in that Scott Karren just happens to be the area distributor for this type of boat.

Interestingly, the Motor Cat is made in Poland, just like the new Aqualine narrowboat. Perhaps Aqualine could copy this idea as a sales promotion tool. Perhaps any UK canal boatboatbuilder could. Especially interesting are the regular 'maintenance issues', which I'd also call 'shakedown notes'.

The ambience is best summarised in the post and photo of Sept 20th:

The Seattle Skyline from the water. Without a boat, many of the best parts of Seattle are out of reach. Today we cruised to Blake Island, a beautiful state park only accessible by boat.

Yet, how alien this milieu is from the pottering 4mph calm of English waterways:

I put the boat in the water at around 10:00 AM and cruised to Seattle at 17 MPH since I was not in a big hurry.

Ken Pitman's 3D CAD design

Ken Pitman of NB Laissez Faire is offering a unique design service. For £60 he'll do CAD plans and 3D picture of your planned narrowboat interior, together with an animated 'walk-through' of the boat. He claims it would cost you up to a £grand from a professional architect.

I'm not sure the latter figure is accurate, but his £60 seems reasonable all the same. Once you've shelled out the senior part of a hundred thou for your dream sewer tube, I mean narrowboat, layout mistakes are hard to rectify, so you might consider his service. You can see sample layouts and 3D images on the site, and download an example animated walk-through. I have to say the animation given seemed a bit slow to me, but nothing to stop him making it faster if you are as impatient as I am to walk through other people's boats.

No Problem returns - where was she?

Sue, aboard No Problem, has just made her first post for a month. I was starting to get a bit worried, wondering if the boat had sunk, or worse. Every time a new boating blog pops up (e.g. No Problem), another good one pops back down again (such as Lady Elgar) before you've had a chance to hit on it.

It's a bit like that old fairground game, where the frogs pop up, and one has to smack them before they drop down again. Only in reverse. And without the frogs.

Oh, all right, zut alors, it's not like Whack The Frogs at all.

Daft to wonder where No Problem was. Sue told us in her Sept 18th post - "Booked No Problem in for a new engine first week of October." And she's posted a photo album showing the process. Incidentally, it also shows what ungainly beasts narrowboats are when hauled out of the water - like walruses.

The joy of maceration

If (like me) you don't care to empty a Porta-Potti every two or three days and don't care for the olfactory discomfort of a 'dump-through' onboard loo, you will probably (if you can afford it) opt for a good marine-quality macerator pump.

On the internet newsgroup alt.anagrams, David Bourke has just discovered that:

The Exalto Rheinstrom Type-F macerator pump

is an anagram of

Three-HP motor to pulp my marine excreta fast!

Banbury Canal Weekend & Folk Festival

Charles Lyne has just sent me this photo from the Banbury Canalside Folk Festival, which took place a couple of weekends back.

Photographer Keith Kitson has a selection of canalside photos taken at the Festival on his specialist folkfoto folk music photography site. But they need a bit of editing and winnowing out - many of the photos are almost identical.

No one else seems to have blogged or reported online about the weekend, so I'll just repeat here the comment Charles made recently following my last post about the Festival.

The folk festival was really good fun, many good and amusing entertainers, and a nice spirit to the whole thing.

The only thing that spoilt it rather, was that BW (according to the organisers) were refusing to waive the normal mooring regulations, and we were therefore worryng all weekend as to whether we were going to be fined for overstaying the 48hr mooring (Saros was there from Thursday to Monday). In the end, we never did see the mooring warden, nor did we get fined, nor, so far as we knew did any of the boats who also stayed the whole weekend in the 24hr moorings.

Next year, let's hope that BW can be realistic about allowing boaters to join in with the Banbury Canalside Folk Festival, as well as campers.